🕯️ “What I Wish People Understood About Clergy Sexual Abuse”

I was sexually abused in my twenties by a minister who now pastors one of the most influential and resourced churches in the United States.

This is not just a personal trauma. It’s a social wound, a legal failure, and a spiritual betrayal that extends far beyond me.

Yet nearly every time I’ve tried to speak the truth, I’ve been met with silence, suspicion, or theological gaslighting. The institutions that were supposed to protect me—churches, seminaries, criminal justice, even some advocates—often closed ranks to protect themselves instead.

I am no longer waiting for permission to name this.

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Clergy Sexual Abuse Is Not “Just Abuse with a Religious Flavor”

It is a systemic, ritualized, and often lifelong betrayal by someone who claims divine authority.

Victims are groomed not only with affection and power—but with scripture. With prayer. With false promises of healing, holiness, or redemption. This leaves survivors grappling not just with trauma, but with existential collapse:

“Was it God who hurt me, or this man? Is my own conscience broken, or is the system sick?”

Many survivors stay silent for decades—if they speak at all.

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The Real Damage Isn’t Just the Abuse. It’s the Aftermath.

What destroys people long-term is often the lack of social support, not the assault itself.

• Families don’t believe them.

• Communities ask them to “forgive and move on.”

• Church leadership urges quiet. “We’re not gonna talk about that.”

• Legal systems offer no real accountability.

Survivors learn that if they speak, they’ll lose everything—not just their safety but also their people, purpose, and place in the world.

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Why I’m Writing Now

I’m a graduate student in psychology, a researcher in trauma and dissociation, and a survivor who has spent years studying this exact thing.

I’m not writing as a victim hoping for closure. I’m writing as a woman with expertise—both lived and academic—who’s no longer willing to stay quiet while entire communities remain complicit in the silence.

This space is for anyone who has been harmed by weaponized faith, who is trying to understand their own trauma, or who wants to advocate more ethically.

I will be publishing:

• Stories, essays, and reflections from the front lines of survival

• Research and analysis on betrayal trauma, dissociation, and religious abuse

• Tools and resources for survivors, therapists, allies, and whistleblowers

• Advocacy strategies for changing the systems that refuse to self-correct

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You Are Not Crazy. You Are Not Alone.

If you've been spiritually abused, sexually violated, or manipulated by religious leaders, know this:

Your story is valid.
Your pain is real.
Your rage is sacred.
And your healing is not only possible—it’s powerful.

Let’s stop whispering.
Let’s build something different.

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If this resonates with you, leave a comment, subscribe and share. I write for survivors, but I also write to shake the foundations that made us survivors in the first place.